I'll Fly Away

The last time I walked the beach, it was early in the morning, and this hymn sprang from my heart to my lips:

some glad morning when this life is over
I'll fly away
to my home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away

I'll fly away
I'll fly away
when I die hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away

I took off my shoes and climbed the rocks and walked in the wet sand, humming and singing as I went. The waves accompanied me, and I felt embraced by all that was there. Being in the moment is where I find my balance, my center.

My friend Mary speaks of the place where her daughter's spirit flew near a flower market, and it makes me imagine that Katie's spirit flew like a bird from her little body. How does a spirit fly? I'm not sure...it's a mystery. I just know that Katie's spirit wasn't in the shell of her little body when she was found.

It's her spirit I've been searching for, and several times she's come to me in my dreams. After struggling so long with wanting her just the way she was, my loving daughter, I've begun to look for a new kind of relationship with her. One in which I get to live all of my days for her and carry her in my heart. I want her to become part of me and together we'll go on.